Questions to a missionary wife - Pamela

Pam was asked these questions by a student in University...

1.) How long have you been serving as a missionary and have you been in the Dominican the whole time?

We arrived in the Dominican June 7, 2010 so a little more than 9 months. We will be having our first furlough in October 2011 for about a month or so. We plan to be in the States once a year for a month. So 11 months out of the year we are in the Dominican.

2.) When did you realize that you were called to go to the DR for full time missions?

I know what you mean by "being called" into missions, but I think for me and my husband we think of it more like God's natural leading in our lives.

Being a missionary is a tool that allows us to be what we are made to be. For others it may be using their gifts and abilities as teachers, lawyers, accountants, etc to glorify God with their lives. Missions allows us to use our abilities to glorify Him the way we are meant to live.

The events that led us to move in this direction took many years of God equipping us and preparing us for the task that we hold in our hands now.

For 4 years my husband led high school seniors to the Dominican for their senior missions trip. During those years our eyes were opening to the need for equipping and discipling the people in the sugar cane villages. The people hear the gospel all of the time but we saw very little discipleship, growth or real change in their lives. We enjoy discipling, especially my husband (natural gift and ability) and he loves using the tool of education to disciple kids and equip them to be what they are designed to be by God. He is a visionary also.

I love to organize, take care of details, and do administrative duties on the day to day level. So on that last senior trip to the Dominican we decided to head in the direction of missions. So, we moved to VA and Jason finished his doctorate degree at Liberty and I finished my degree. That took 2 years, and during that time we started Freedom International Ministries, Inc. Then we raised support for one year and now we are here learning Spanish. So for us it is God's natural leading in our lives.

3.) How did your relationship with your husband change and how did you have to adjust to it once you moved overseas?

Jason and I have always worked better along side each other than apart because we are on the same page. In the past when he was a teacher or we had separate jobs we didn't connect as well. It was hard to get a clear picture of what each other dealt with from day to day on the job. Now, I can't ask for a better situation. We plan together, we eat lunch together, we talk more, and we understand each other's needs more clearly. Our relationship changed for the better because the circumstances made it possible to be more intentional to work at it.

As far as adjusting to our relationship once we moved over seas it seemed to grow stronger. We only had each other (partly because we are the first ones down here from our team) so our priorities changed and we valued our relationship more. When my husband is the only one that speaks English and everyone else around me speaks Spanish then the only one I can speak deeply to is my husband.

4.) How does living in a different culture affect the way you have to raise your children?

The principles remain the same whether I am in the States or the Dominican but the methods change. For example, here the women dress very immodestly according to our culture. I have 3 boys that really don't notice that yet, but they seem to snicker a little bit or feel uncomfortable at times, as do I. I started having talks with them to turn the other direction when you see something immodest so you don't have to think about it. Some women breast feed their babies out in the open with out putting a blanket over them to keep from exposing their breast. This too is a culture difference that we need to overlook or turn our heads. This even makes me feel uncomfortable at times because I feel I need to cover them up. What we think as immodest they see as normal.

5.) What are your typical roles as being a wife of a missionary?

We think of it as two missionaries working full time on the field. I think some people see it as the man is the missionary and he brings his wife and kids along. I think we need to shift our way of thinking about missions because the wife has a full time role of working as a missionary too. Right now both my husband and I are learning Spanish full time. We have 3 hours of class every morning in addition to 4 to 5 hours of homework everyday. On the weekends we practice talking in Spanish with the people and teach an English class to people in a country church who want to learn.

This summer we have 10 weeks of chronological teaching from creation to Christ and we will host teams from the states during this time. Afterwards I will be responsible for organizing and administrating home school for 6 missionary kids in addition to all of the administrative responsibilities that require running an organization. In October, we will have fund raising events like our banquet, furlough, and preparing plans to build the school. In the future, I will be teaching in the school we start or filling in different aspects of our ministry as things come up.

6.) How does being so far away from home affect your relationships with your family members and friends from your home in the States?

We really miss our family; I think our kids really miss their grandparents and cousins. But I must say that when we see them or talk to them on the phone we are very intentional about the quality of time we spend with them.

I would say that technology is a fabulous tool for missionaries to stay in contact. Facebook, e-mail, Skype, phone, videos, etc help to make the time with family that more precious. At times I wish I could go out to breakfast with my mom or my sister or just have some girl time with them, I just can't do that here...so that can be emotional at times. We are anxious to have our partners here soon; I think that will help with those types of relational needs.

There are adjustments to anything we choose to do. Being in a foreign country with different cultural habits, food, language, etc can add to the stress of living, but once you get through those changes, life feels more like reality and normal. I think the most important thing a missionary needs to know is that they are not forgotten and that the relationships in the states remain strong and that people really come along side of you to support, encourage, and pray for you. We need people to run this race with us!

Is Free Always Good? - Jason

I have been thinking recently about Freedom (the concept, not that awesome ministry organization) and things that are Free in general. Being in this country has definitely provoked my thinking even more. My heart is burdened for this country and the people here, but I want to be a true blessing and not simply give the appearance of helping.

I’ve written before about beggars on the street – little children standing with their hands outstretched. We have a stash of food in the car that we try to put in their hands…still it feels insignificant and I wonder if it really helps them or if we are supplementing a lifestyle for which they were never intended. Yet, how do we drive passed without doing anything?

Then there are those with physical issues. We are warned by Dominicans that while some are legitimate, there are many who are using their infirmity as their business. We are told that some could get medical attention to fix whatever problem, but they do not because it would take away their ability to receive donations. Others, we are told, have family, but because of their choices in life, their addiction to drugs, etc., their families have decided it is better not to help. What if we give a donation to someone like this? Helping or hurting?

To make that last paragraph more complex, this weekend there was a man begging who had an open wound on two sides of his leg and a piece of metal clearly visible next to what looked like his bone. We are not talking a minor gash; instead, these were tangerine size wounds dug out of his flesh. Worse, it was infected…and it looked like the infection was spreading – his leg was red and swollen to just above the knee. I do not know how he could bare the pain that must have been causing, yet he was using a stick for a crutch and moving from car to car. What should we do in this situation?

I asked some Dominicans about this guy specifically and while they did not know his specific circumstances, they said that he could get the medical care if he wanted it at the public hospitals. Does that change our response? I said to Pam that I really wish we had some sort of clinic established with some doctors and we could say to this man, “Friend, we are willing to help you to be well – do you want to be well?” Oh Lord, send us laborers or raise them up from this country!

Along with these thoughts have been the thought about offering classes and ultimately a school to those in the bateys. But, if we give it to them for free, does that change the way they value it? So far, we have seen that it does. We will need to charge at least a minimal amount.

What about giving out Bibles? Surely that would be good! Would it be better to charge, say 50 cents? While it feels good to give out free Bibles, it appears to me that the answer is “yes, charge them at least a fraction of the cost.”

King David did not want to offer something that cost him nothing – as a cheapskate, I always thought he should have just taken it. But it seems that things given completely free are rarely appreciated for what they are.

It seems to me this principle is true on a large scale as well. As I write this, the news is full of the struggle to bring “freedom” to the world – Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, and Egypt. I want these people to have freedom, but I also wonder if freedom given is really appreciated as freedom. Patrick Henry said, “Give me Liberty or give me death!” That was a man who would value whatever freedom he received.

What’s my answer for how we should behave in these situations? I don’t know. I can tell you what we do at this point - today. I cannot bring myself to ignore a kid’s outstretched hand when it is clear that there are hunger issues – maybe that is hypocritical considering what I say next, but I just can't do it. With the rest of the situations, I take the perspective that I cannot help everyone. I really want to – it brings tears to my eyes to think about it – but I can’t. With that reality, comes the second reality which is that I do not want to do harm through encouraging dependency. I feel like without knowing the individual circumstances and then offering something without cost could do just that. What we hope to do instead is invest in the lives of the people in a few villages, offering them opportunities if they will take them, that will set them Free to be who they were made to be. Finally, we pray for wisdom. We pray that God would adjust our perspective where it needs to be adjusted. We pray that the desires of the Lord would become more and more a part of our lives and the lives of all that we come in contact with....and we pray that He will raise up more laborers.

Rights - Jason

I have been reading about the battle being played out in Wisconsin and it has made me reflect a little on my own worldview.

Everyone wants “rights”; “rights” are good. As Americans, we know all about rights and we have a system that is meant to be governed by the rule of law rather than men. Other systems have also been in the news recently in the Middle East where people are also demanding rights – of course their desires might be a little more basic – the right to not be stoned to death, the right to have some basic freedoms, etc.

When I think about what is going on in Wisconsin, it makes me think about “rights” in general. Where do “rights” come from? Should all people of all nations have the same “rights?” When should we demand “rights?”

The country that I live in now has an average salary per year of $5000. And about 3 hours from me right now, there is a country where the average salary is around $750 annually and people are living in houses made of sheets, and dying of cholera because some of them believe that the cholera is really the work of witchcraft rather than an actual sickness. Do we only care about “rights” when they are ours?

I have to do some self evaluation too, because there are things that I take to be “rights” – I just assume that they are mine. For me, I have found a good way to discover those things I consider to be “rights” is to examine my level of frustration or even anger when I do not have those things.

But there is also this other part of me, this part of me that the Lord is changing to be more like Himself that keeps reminding me “you don’t have ‘rights.’” This worldview is completely contrary to the other. The One whose life is slowly and gradually becoming my life is the same One of whom is said, “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”

The One who truly has rights, set His aside. Now His life is becoming my life.

We are in a unique position here, because we have supporters who enable us to be here on the field. When I worked a “normal” job, I was paid for my efforts. Now, it is almost like those two things are separate – we do what we believe we are to do, and we have people who have volunteered to stand with us with financial support. It has a way of making us very thankful because of the difference in circumstances from our previous "normal" jobs. For example, a couple weeks ago, when we were out exploring villages, it was raining really hard and the “roads” were becoming more and more washed out. At one point, I went through a pretty deep stretch and once we were through, I thought, “Oh no, I have to go back through that to get out!” But we made it. We have a four wheel drive vehicle that sits high off the ground because there are people who provided us with the funds to have it. I am thankful for those people – really. I had a moment after this experience where the faces of those who support us went through my mind. Reflecting on that in light of this discussion, I am really glad that I have the opportunity to be thankful.

It turns out, that having a perspective which demands “rights” seems to go directly against having a thankful spirit. I wonder, which worldview is actually making the sacrifice?

Relationships - Jason

Because we are learning the language, I think we have learned in a greater way how much we as people want to be known by others. There is a something in us that makes us desire to connect. With a language barrier - that desire is huge. At first, we were very "flat" - we could only say "Hi, how are you?" "I'm fine, and you?" Now, as great as that is, saying that over and over and over again can make a person want to scream - "there is more to me than this!" So as our language has grown, our relationships have begun to grow as well. Christmas speaks of the possibility for relationship and so we thought we would share with you a few of the people who are a part of our lives here in the DR.

This is Victoria, one of our Spanish teachers. When Pam really needed a friend, Victoria stepped in inviting her to all kinds of things. If we ever speak with perfect grammar - it will be because of her hard work!

Josue is our other Spanish teacher. He is recently engaged to Mari Fe. We have lots of good theology type talks with him.











This is Sammy's teacher, Miss Seeman. The kids have such great teachers at Santiago Christian School. The boys have made a very smooth adjustment partly because of them.










Jonny takes care of our apartment building and is the day guard. He is from Haiti, so we are still learning to communicate. His Spanish has a sing-song type quality and my Spanish has a start-stop-and-crash quality. He's a Christian and is always reading his Bible.








Pastor Monteja leads the church that we go to on Sunday nights and also where we teach English. He is very patient with us and has made us feel a part of their church.










Frank was the first to be extremely patient with me. He "talked" to me for a couple of hours one night when neither of us knew how to say the days of the week in the others language. He just used his Bible to communicate - moving from one chapter and verse to another.








Frank's wife Ires has had us into their home several times. We have had a lot of first's with them - all kinds of new foods, especially fruits.











Yanet is a member of the church in the country and also an English student. She has a sense of humor and loves to sing the classic hymns of the faith.










The boys are making lots of friends no matter where they go. They speak a universal language.












Just this week, we went down to the San Pedro area to begin scouting out some villages. We hope that the Lord will use us to develop life changing relationships with people who will come to know Christ as life.

Sharing in Common - Pamela

A couple of months ago I started attending a Ladies Bible Study at the boy’s school and after the first study I came home and was telling Jason everything that we did, and I started to tear up. I thought to myself, “why am I so emotional over this?” When I looked back at Jason, he smiled, and then I laughed and cried at the same time. What in the world! As I began to continue expressing my thoughts I came to realize that I really missed the fellowship with other ladies. I missed the sharing in common. Well of course this would make sense. Ever sense we’ve been in the Dominican I have done nothing but study Spanish, I live in a house of all males, and we are the first family from our organization down here with no partners yet.

Just a little background, the Bible study has women who speak Spanish, French, English, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Creol, and German. The ladies greet each other with a hug because it is the culture here which makes it a “sister like” atmosphere. I found that going each week has nourished my soul because not only can we share spiritually together, but we can also share in things we struggle with daily. I’m amazed that even though each have a different language and cultural backgrounds when we have the same spiritual backgrounds then our fellowship has a commonality to it.

Likewise, I went to a baby shower with my Spanish teacher and again I got to experience a fun experience with 50 other ladies in this culture. I’m planning to attend a wedding shower tonight and look forward to more sharing in common with other ladies. Keep in mind the only person I know is my Spanish teacher, you would think, “how scary to go to a social and not know anyone - even the honoree!” yes it was scary at first, but I came to realize that I need to be around other ladies and as a result I have enjoyed it very much!

I’m so thankful God has brought these opportunities to me even when I didn’t know this was a huge need in my life. Yes, I really miss my Mom, sisters, Mother in-law, sister’s in-law, and my lady friends in the states, but God has truly met my needs in a very tangible way!

Thank you God!

Becoming...

We become like the people that we enjoy. On the good side, “iron sharpens iron,” (Proverbs 27:17). On the negative side, “bad company corrupts good character,” (I Corinthians 15:33). Any who have children see this in the lives of their kids. Little kids especially want to be like their parents – they wear our shoes, they want to be with us, they sometimes even say something really funny and we realize that it is the same thing we would say, but it sounds funny coming out of such a little person. We become like the people we enjoy.

I have been thinking about this idea this week as I have been reading Jeremiah. Jeremiah is sometimes called the weeping prophet. When I have read Jeremiah in the past, I always thought of it from the perspective of the people and the judgment that was coming. I thought things like: “They were evil,” “they deserved punishment,” “God continues to offer grace for genuine change of heart,” “Jeremiah has a tough job,” etc. All of these thoughts are true. But this time, I have found myself with a slightly different perspective. It is not a perspective that is contradictory, but just a different vantage point. I have been thinking about this from the perspective of what God felt. Not just what He thought or what He was doing, but how he felt. Here were people who He created to enjoy a relationship with Him and they were betraying Him. In the second chapter, God says, “Has a nation ever changed its gods? (Yet they are not gods at all.) But my people have exchanged their Glory for worthless idols.” Wow, what must that have felt like…nations who worship false gods do not change their gods, yet the nation dedicated to the true God turns from Him. For His grace, they gave him idolatry which He compares to adultery.

No wonder Jeremiah was the weeping prophet. If Jeremiah was a person who began to take on God’s values, we would expect to see expressed through him some of what God was feeling. We become like the people we enjoy.

I wonder sometimes if we as Christians are much different from our counterparts in false religions. Yes, we have a different set of truth claims, but what do we do with them? Are our prayers much different? Are our concerns much different? Or have we settled for religion in place of relationship?

The answer of course is simply to enjoy Him more. I want to be the kind of person who thinks about things and feels things the way that God thinks about them and feels them. By His grace, I find Him moving me in that direction. Gracias a Dios!

The Battle of the Mind - Pamela

Lately, I have found myself thinking negatively due to my circumstances as I adjust to culture. For example, we had to go to Moca, a nearby town close to Santiago, to get some electrical things fixed on our car. Now, in my mind I’m expecting this won’t take but a few hours and I’ll be in a nice air conditioned waiting room with magazines, TV and free coffee like we have in the States. Instead, the owner of the mechanic shop says, “oh, it could 3 or 5 hours to see what’s wrong with your car, I don’t know. “ I said, “well do you know the exact time you will begin working on our car, would you like us to go home and come back in 5 hours?” He said, “its okay you can wait by this car lift until we are done.”

Let me paint this picture for you, it was outside in the heat, we sat on plastic chairs with mosquitoes surrounding the area, two feet from the car lift. So basically we were sitting in the area where the mechanics actually do the work on the cars. The mechanics walked around us, pulling extension cords by our feet, passing tools around us etc. Needless to say, this was not what I expected nor did I want to wait 5 hours in that sort of environment. I had a serious attitude and a battle of negativity was roaring in my mind.

After 3 hours of waiting they started to work on our car. By then it was lunch time so Jason and I walked down to get some rice and beans at a nearby café. The portions were huge, Jason finished his meal, but I just couldn’t finish mine and thought I would get a “to go container”. As soon as I put my fork down this man came up from behind me and started to grab my plate. I tried to say I wasn’t done in Spanish and wanted a to go box. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he actually wanted my plate so he could eat my food. He hung out by the café in order to get leftover food from the customers. I felt so bad for the guy but then I began to think, “I can’t even relax in this restaurant without someone coming up from behind me begging for food.” It’s really common to see lots of beggars and sometimes I feel bombarded at every corner.

Anyway, after that whole experience we walked back to the mechanic to get our car. After a few more hours, we found out the mechanic would need to take 2 days to fix the car. It was necessary to then rent a car for a couple of days. Of course, the car gas gauge said empty when we rented it. "It's no problem," said the rental agent, "just bring it back empty." So after driving the car through the airport parking lot, it ran out of gas...back to the rental counter to get another car.

After the two days, we showed up at the time the car was supposed to be done and we ended up waiting an additional 3 more hours. (Through this whole process the Lord was starting to show me my negativity in my mind, so as time was passing during this process, I was battling this whole thing.)

Anyway, we finally got the car done and began to drive home. As we got closer to our house the stirring wheel started to smoke! Jason and I looked at each other and said “oh no, this can’t be good.” We made it home and the smoke stopped. As we were getting out of the car, I said to Jason, “your lights are on” so he turned it off and we went upstairs to our apartment. Jason then made a quick call to the mechanic to inform him of the situation. After the phone call the neighbor buzzed our apartment and said you left your lights on. We thought that was strange because we both knew we turned the lights off.

So Jason comes down and opens the car door and all this smoke comes bellowing out! Then he opens the hood and the engine catches on fire! On top of that the horn starts blaring and would not stop! I heard the horn and knew something was wrong and raced down the stairs. Meanwhile, Jason was yelling to the boys to throw down buckets. We were frantically throwing water on the engine to get the fire out. The fire finally went out but the horn was still blaring, by that time we had a nice big crowd of people around us. Finally, two men came over and disconnected the battery to get the horn to stop blaring!

How embarrassing! This is just plain craziness! By that time the Lord was bringing laughter in my head because I could not believe this was actually happening. He changed my negative thoughts into laughter and I thought to myself, “this could only happen in the Dominican.” I’m so thankful however that even in the midst of my circumstance the Lord is rewiring my thinking so it is not as negative. In fact, I’m so thankful the Lord has allowed me to think positively in this matter.

I started to have a thankful spirit rather than negative spirit. This is only God who could do this in my life. As I look back at that experience I'm so thankful the boys were not in the car when the fire happened. I’m glad we were at home when it occurred because our car was near a water spicket. I’m grateful we had neighbors to help us disconnect the battery to stop the horn from blaring. It’s certainly a different perspective. It’s been neat to see that in the “car fire” circumstance God has allowed me to be thankful.

I do however wonder what is next because it seems something out of the ordinary is always happening. Each circumstance is a chance for me to depend on Him fully even in my thought life. It never hurts to have a little adventure in my life; at least I’m not bored. I’m a diamond in the rough and it’s going to take a lot of chipping away at my heart and mind to continue to make me more Christ like.

Thank you God for using bad circumstances to mold my thought life!

(By the way, the car will be fine; no major damage and it is back at the mechanics where as of today they have taken all the wiring out and will be rewiring everything tomorrow.)